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First Midwife Appointment

 I had decided early on in my pregnancy that I wanted to have a hospital birth and an epidural this time around.  Ten, natural, unmedicated births was enough for me and my last few labors have been longer, harder, and more painful.  Because this was baby #11, I put off going in to my first appointment. Life was busy and I didn't get around to it until I was 18 weeks along.  I picked a midwife group that delivered at a hospital and when I called to set up the appointment she was horrified I hadn't had any care so far and she had to get special permission from the midwives for me to be seen.  But I digress.....

June 6, 2023 was the date of my first midwife visit.  The dating ultrasound was set for the morning and I went to that alone as Gabe was at work.  It was so great to see baby girl jumping around on the screen and I couldn't get over how cute her little nose was!  I grabbed myself something for lunch, and Gabe met me a few hours later for the actual appointment with the midwife.  We chatted about my previous births and then she looked at the notes from the morning ultrasound and causally mentioned there were some markers that had come up and that we should have a more in depth ultrasound to check them out.  At first I wasn't super concerned because I have heard of so many women who have had concerns raised in their ultrasounds which turn out to be nothing to worry about.  We asked the midwife what the makers were and she said, "a strawberry shaped head, clenched fists and choroid plexus cysts in the brain."  That was when my heart dropped and I began to believe  that perhaps there really was something wrong with my baby.  I held back the tears until I said goodbye to Gabe, but on the drive home I couldn't hold them in.  So many thoughts were running through my mind. 

Once home, I didn't want the children to know I was upset, so I tried to keep calm and didn't share any of the findings with them.  There was nothing for certain and I knew we would cross that bridge when we came to it.     




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